Forgiveness

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People sometimes do some mistakes toward themselves and others. Sometimes, people also hurt others intentionally and unintentionally. When you hurt someone or do something that you are not proud of and start feeling guilty, the first thing you need to do is forgive yourself before you ask others to forgive you. Whether you screamed at your child, hurt your partner, lying to your friend, it is necessary to forgive yourself for your own sake and others.

Forgiveness is more than just letting go of things it is a way to reduce your stress and to get past painful memories in your life. This includes your relationship with others, dealing with divorce, and working on creating healthy relationships.

Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, and overcomes negative emotions such as resentment and vengeance (however justified it might be). Theorists differ, however, in the extent to which they believe forgiveness also implies replacing the negative emotions with positive attitudes (i.e. an increased ability to wish the offender well). Forgiveness is different from condoning (failing to see the action as wrong and in need of forgiveness), excusing (not holding the offender as responsible for the action), forgetting (removing awareness of the offense from consciousness), pardoning, and reconciliation.

Just as important as defining what forgiveness is, though, is understanding what forgiveness is not. Experts who study or teach forgiveness make clear that when you forgive, you do not gloss over or deny the seriousness of an offense against you. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses. Though forgiveness can help repair a damaged relationship, it doesn’t obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you or release them from legal accountability.

Forgiveness is a choice one makes over and over again. It can be a fresh perspective or a healthy distance; like a quiet room with a view onto the world of complexity and conflict.